Parenting and Children

Say "Goodnight Moon" and almost every parent will inevitably sigh with warm memories of the cuddly bedtime story. In simple words and pictures, the indelible impression it leaves on both children and parents-that contented feeling of "what a good story!"-can translate into a lifelong love of books and their subject matter.

That's the task of a good children's book: As it entertains and educates-without being obvious about either-it should encourage imagination, impart some universal truths, reveal new worlds or offer comfort in the ordinary world around us. It should touch each child according to his or her own needs and age. And it should create lasting memories.

It's tempting to trivialize children's books; after all, their sparse prose seems so easy to write, a snap to read. But children's authors work hard precisely to make their stories clear and unpretentious. For that reason, books can serve as the best parenting tools in the hands of caring, creative parents who are seeking to transmit values and information. Part of the warm-fuzzy feeling of children's books is their focus on family-safe, secure and warm environments that nurture and accept children for all their playfulness and curiosity. Reading together creates a similar real-life intimacy, a deep bond between parent and child. There are few better feelings than having your child nestle against you as you read to him or her.

For Jewish parents struggling to impart Jewish values in a secular world, children's books provide a good beginning. Reading Jewish children's books together not only fulfills the Torah's commandment-víshinantam levanekha: teach your children-but in less grandiose terms, it's fun!

The Jewish children's book market has flowered in the past decade. No longer is the number of books in the category limited to the fingers of both hands. Instead, the range has become almost daunting: Jewish mysteries, adventures and biographies; board books introducing Jewish symbols; books on G-d, prayer and mitzvot; Holocaust memoirs; Bible stories and folktales; holiday anthologies and activity books. Skim the books to make sure you are comfortable with the traditions pictured, which vary widely from Orthodox families complete with payis to women carrying Torahs.

Holidays predominate as the theme of Jewish children's books, largely because that's what sells at gift-giving seasons such as Hanukkah and Passover. Many books describe holiday customs and history, often within the context of a story. But even if you are reading a simple tale, try to make the leap between simply imparting information to sharing deeper values. Long ago, our rabbis described these two levels as p'shat-(the simple level) and d'rash (the deeper meaning). Rosh Hashanah, for instance, is not just about apples dipped in honey; it's also about taking responsibility for our actions. Hanukkah is not just about candles, gifts and dreidels; it's also about standing up for our beliefs. Passover is not just about matzah and macaroons; it's also about continuity. Discussing values in the context of stories can go far in modeling behavior, teaching ethics and exploring the passion of Judaism without hit-'em-over-the-head didacticism.

As predominant as they are in children's books, holidays represent only one square on the quilt of Jewish heritage. Whimsical and wise folktales, biblical stories reclaimed and retold, and modern midrashim based on classic sources help children trace the long lines of Jewish tradition. Today's books even help children to re-imagine G-d. In a contemporary vein, stories featuring Jewish characters who subliminally impart their pride in being Jewish or who struggle with their Jewish identities can focus parents and pre-adolescents on the questions and comforts of being Jewish in America today.

In his new book, Jewish Parenting Wisdom, Steven Rosman shares a story originally told by Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the late Lubavitcher rebbe. The story is about parents who bring their 12-year-old child to a nearby rabbi for help and guidance. After listening to their parenting problems, the rabbi asks them why they have waited so long to seek help.

"So long!" the parents exclaim. "Why, he is still such a young child. In fact, he is not yet even a bar mitzvah."

"That may be so," replied the rabbi, "but just as a scratch on the branch of a 12-year-old tree will have little effect while a scratch on a seed can influence its growth completely, so education must begin with a child's infancy."

Reading Jewish children's books is an opportunity-an opportunity to learn about Jewish heroes and emulate them; to discover new customs and follow them; to discuss ideas and ideals, behaviors and relationships; to share stories of loving families and see yourself mirrored in the pages. Reading Jewish children's books is an opportunity to help your children find their voices-voices that will hopefully resonate with the rich and vibrant strains of Judaism.

 

Rahel Musleah